Navigating bureaucracy

Alternative title: "How to get a social security number, register a car, get a driver's licence and stay sane"

Now, before you start thinking that this will be a tale of unmitigated woe and frustration, it's actually been a relatively unpainful (for me at least...I'll let Kim tell her story separately).

First things first. You pretty much don't exist in the US without a social security number. You need it to get paid, open bank accounts, get a driver's licence, get the internet connected, buy a can of Coke from a vending machine. Alright, you don't really need one to get a Coke.

The social security number is a 9 digit number that pretty much gets attached to everything related to money here. It's fundamental in building up a credit record. The equivalent in Australia is the tax file number. But here, the "social", as it's affectionately known, gets used pretty much as a universal ID number. So, an early mission after arrival was to go and get this magical number. We fronted up at the Patchogue Social Security Administration office soon after opening, got ourselves a ticket from the automatic machine at the front door, and joined the 40-odd other people waiting. Numbers were called, and before too long, we were underway. Unfortunately, the Department of Homeland Security take a little while to get visa details for new immigrants into the computer system that Social Security look at, so I didn't actually exist yet as far as they were concerned. Fortunately, the person handling my application was nice enough to just cancel the process, rather than what they call "suspending" it. This meant that I could just go back in a week's time rather than relying on some computer system to realise that sufficient time had passed and I could have a number issued. Kim had no problem getting a letter from them stating that she was ineligible for a Social Security Number. The wording of the letter was a bit unfriendly, suggesting that she's been refused one rather than just asking for a letter stating her ineligibility.

So a week later (I interpreted the fine print on the Social Security Administration website that said you should wait 10 days to mean calendar days rather than business days) I went back to the SSA office, and the application went straight in. I walk out with a nice letter saying my application has been accepted. One key piece of information the person gave me was that I could actually go back the following day and get the number over the counter. This was the first I'd heard of that, but figured it was worth a try. And sure enough, it worked. So I'm now the proud owner of nine very important digits. A week or so later, a non-descript envelope arrived with a little cardboard card and a strong recommendation to not carry it with me. So it's now in a safe place somewhere at home, and I'm sure to forget where it is when I actually need it again.

To register a car in New York State, you need 6 points of ID. A NY licence counts for 6, but that story comes later. A passport is 3, a bank debit card is 1, an employee ID is 1. So I'd been sitting on 5 points for quite a while, and our car (see earlier posts) had been sitting unhappily unregistered in the driveway. A social security card is worth a massive 2 points, so its arrival safely put me over the 6 point requirement. The social security card is also essential for getting a driver's licence here (or a letter stating that you are not eligible for a social). So, ID in hand along with all the cryptic forms we got when we bought the car, I headed off to the Department of Motor Vehicles, affectionately known as the DMV, office in Medford (just near Patchogue). Another experience with waiting in a queue to get a ticket, and then a much longer wait with well over 50 other people to actually get served. Luckily, all the paperwork seemed to be in order, and I was now proudly holding some new registration plates for our car. So far so good.

The next mission was to start the licence process. This proved to be quite a bit more time consuming. The first step was having to fax my passport and visa info to the central DMV in Albany (NY, not Western Australia, but it took so long that it seemed like it had gone to WA) so that they could confirm that I was allowed to get a licence. This took nearly an hour, by the end of which I started to wonder if I would ever see my passport again. But finally, they got that bit sorted out, and I was given another ticket to go and actually sit the written test. It doesn't matter that I've been driving in Australia for over 20 years. I get to go through the Learners Permit process with all the 16 year olds, and everyone looks at me assuming I've lost my licence for some reason and am trying to get it back. The hour waiting for my passport to return was spent flipping through the road rules book. One of the sillier rules is that you have to stop for a stopped school bus. Now that's OK if you are overtaking the bus, or on a narrow back road, but you have to stop even if you are on the other side of a divided freeway. Yep. There can be 30m of grass between you and the kids, but you still have to stop. But Long Island drivers are good at ignoring most road rules, so I expect that one is also well ignored. The test itself is 20 questions, and you're allowed to get 6 wrong. It worries me that there are people out there who don't understand 30% of the road rules, signs and safe driving techniques but are still allowed to drive. One of the kids actually failed (the people assess it on the spot, and aren't quiet about informing them of the result), but was allowed to have another go straight away. Doubly scary. Luckily I scraped through, and managed to read the letters in the eye test, so was now the proud owner of a New York State Learners Permit.

Prior to booking a road test to get a proper licence, all "learners" have to sit a 5 hour pre-licencing course. This is a classroom course, and seems mainly designed to make the people there realise how much they don't know. There were about 20 people in my course. All but two were 18 or under, one guy about 30 who had lost his licence, and me. I was a source of some entertainment for the instructor. The concept of driving on the other side of the road seemed to horrify most of the 16 year olds. He actually did a good job of making the course relatively entertaining. The hairstyles and clothes couple of 80s videos on seat belts and the effects of alcohol provided plenty of laughs, which sort of detracted from the message. But I got out of there with a certificate saying I'd done the course. Without that certificate, you can't book the road test, so as soon as I got home, the booking for the road test went in. It's on this coming Friday, September 3. Wish me luck.